How To Deal Upon Discovering That Your Child Is Sexually Active
First of all, do not panic when you find out that your teen is having sex. You must not allow any feelings of worry or even anger control your reactions. Your child must feel safe talking to you and come to you for advice and support.
When parents are asked before getting an ultrasound about what gender they wish their baby has, many people hope that their first baby is a girl. In the fathers’ minds, it means having a little princess at home to cherish. For the mothers, it gives them a cute little thing to put on different dresses. Nevertheless, when they get what they wish for, the typical source of stress for the entire family that makes them want to see a therapist sometimes (true story) is the hair.
You see, some kids are born with super fine hair that looks perfect even when you only place a little bow or headband on it. Other girls, however, come with a shock of hair that is a struggle to style, comb, or wash. The dads do not usually have to deal with such an issue, but most mothers do. So, here are seven hair hacks for every practical mom out there.
Sanitize The Hairbrush
The first thing to do before your morning starts is to make sure that you have a clean hairbrush. Meaning to say, there are no strands or grime stuck in between the bristles that can get in the way or ruin the newly washed hair of your daughter while brushing their hair. If you find any, you can easily remove the fallen hair with toothpicks or Q-tips and wash it thoroughly with soap and warm water so that the grime sticking to it can go down the drain.
Get A Shirt Instead Of A Towel To Dry The Hair
When drying off the hair after a shower, it is better to use a shirt than a towel. The reason is that the latter has more defined threads than the former; that’s why it can have harsher effects on the hair. Hence, you should utilize a shirt or any fabric that’s similar to it when squeezing excess water out of your locks.
Apply Coconut Oil As A Hair Mask
Coconut oil is such a good natural product, in the sense that you and your child can both use it as a hair mask. This substance can moisturize your mane and protect it from damages. It can also soften your daughter’s thick mane, which may be prone to tangles all the time. Feel free to apply the oil before shampooing and leave it on for 20 minutes for best results.
Snip Damaged Ends At Home
Seeing damaged ends is inevitable, primarily if you are always under the sun. Little girls tend to deal with this hair problem as well since they tend to play a lot outdoors during the daytime. To make sure that the damage will not move up the affected strands, though, you can snip them off on your own. Just twist chunks of the hair vertically so that it will be easier for you to see the ones with the split ends.
Make Hairbands Out Of Old Stockings
Since stockings are semi-elastic, they are safer to use than the typical hairbands that generate much friction to the hair. All you need to do is cut an old pair in bits to produce many hair ties. You can use them on your kids, too, and no one will be able to tell the difference.
Use Wet Wipes To Tame Hair
It cannot be helped if there are pieces of hair sticking out of your daughter’s head. That is especially true if she is still quite young and has baby hairs in place. In case that bothers you when you are trying to braid her locks or put it in a tight bun for ballet practice, you may place a wet wipe over the hairbrush and run through the hair. It allows you to tame the unruly strands as you work.
Add Hairspray Indirectly
Considering you are not a fan of hairspray but your daughter’s hair needs to be extremely neat for her dance recital, you should know that you do not have to spray it directly all over her head. Such a process entails that a lot of products will touch her hair, which can damage it later. What you can do instead is spritz the hairspray on the hairpins that you will use. For the rest of the hair, you may spray it on a toothbrush or makeup brush and smooth it over the strands. This way, the harsh chemicals will not touch her scalp.
Fixing your daughter’s hair is one of your duties as a parent. It may not always be easy – sometimes you may wish of chopping everything and turning it into a short bob to solve your dilemma – but I know that you know how cute little girls are with their long locks. So, try to follow the hacks mentioned above instead in hopes of easing your issues every morning.
Opening up to your loved ones can be scary, especially when it comes to a serious topic likemental health. According to psychology, most kids are afraid to even acknowledge it in themselves because of the stigma in their own home; that feeling sad or anxious is a “common thing” and that you should ignore it. It’s important to let them feel comfortable in telling you exactly how they think, that what they’re feeling is valid and you are the right person to talk to. Psychology suggests that many children or teens are afraid of telling their parents, in fear of upsetting them or being shut down completely.
It’s essential to make your child feel that rather than you being upset, you are happy they chose to confide in you. Making them feel like you are always ready to help them in every way possible is the key to getting them to tell you how they’re feeling. To be prepared if ever you think your child is struggling with something, here are some instances or thoughts that may be going through your child’s head.
“My family won’t believe me or take me seriously.”
Never dismiss or invalidate how your child is feeling, especially when they do choose to tell you when something is wrong. It’s fundamental to know that if your child is already hurting; dismissing their issues may make the experience more painful. Always let your children explain everything thoroughly for you to understand what they need fully. Also, letting go of any negative preconceived notions about getting professional help will be a good idea, because if your child says they want to seek advice, it’s best to assume they need it.
“I don’t want my family to worry about me.”
Though all families may go through different problems that occur in and out of the home, make sure to prioritize the issues of your children still, may it be big or small. If it is troubling them or if they open up to you about it, it must be worth listening to. It always should be.
“I don’t know or I’m afraid of how my family will react.”
Our children may still be hesitant to talk to you, but once you notice that something is troubling them, you must open up the topic to them, or at least make them feel that they can address things; the sooner, the better. If they’re hesitant, you can opt for them to talk to one person/parent at a time. Make your children feel like they can reach out to you may it be through letters, text messages, or subtle conversations from time to time.
To be more prepared in case you feel like your children suffer from mental health issues, the following aresigns and symptoms of common mental health illnesses in children:
Depression In Children
Continuous feelings of sadness
Sudden changes in appetite (increase or decrease)
Changes in sleeping pattern
Fatigue and low energy
Feeling worthless or guilty
Thoughts of Death
Feeling angry or irritable
Isolating one’s self from social circles/family
Depression in children often isn’t treated because it’s brushed off or seen as regular emotional and mental changes. Earlier medical studies showed children could also show sign of depression by acting out through angry behavior. Depression is relatively rare under the age of 12 and more frequent from ages 12 and above. It is more common in boys under the age of 10, and for girls, it’s more common around the age of 16.
Anxiety In Children
Improper eating patterns
Becoming immediately angry
Constant worry and negative thoughts
Feeling tense or using the toilet frequently
Clinging to loved ones all of a sudden
Stomach aches/ nausea
There are different types of anxiety; separation anxiety is common in young children, while older children and teenagers usually have social anxiety.
Though it really may be difficult to get your children to open up to you about such things, it’s best to let them come to you. When you think something is troubling them, but you don’t want to pry immediately, try to do smaller things and gestures that show them you’re always there when they’re ready. It’s good to let them know that you’ll believe them, you want to know more, and you will do everything to help them. Mental health shouldn’t be a myth or joke in any household; many parents realize this too late in their children’s lives because they never acknowledged or thought of the possibility. Your children’s emotions are always valid.
One of the most difficult challenges that moms undergo is keeping up with their children’s overall well-being. More often than not, it is the mother’s traditional role to physically look after her children even if she is a working mom. Nowadays, the physical aspect of a child’s well-being is not the only thing parents, especially the moms, should be worried about. Behavioral health’s challenges are now a big thing. (more…)
The family is an essential thing in the world. They are the ones who teach you a lot of stuff particularly on early development. Each one of them contributes to the growth of your emotional, spiritual, and mental health. However, not all family members are capable of providing you a good source of improvement. You need to understand that some of them can become the cause of your emotional and mental dilemma. In that sense, you need to find the courage to push them away from you. Here are the reasons why it is entirely okay to cut family members out of your life.
Affecting Other Areas Of Your Life
When a toxic family connection affects other essential areas of your life such as work and home, it is the time to cut them off. The stress these people bring will not stop but rather grow to a more undesirable discussion and confrontation. It is important to recognize that to be able to protect the majority of your family, you have to allow each member to grow. With that, you need to separate those functioning ones to those who contribute negatively. Always take in mind that a family member should give each other motivation and help everyone in their circle to strive in their overall development. Therefore, a relationship that hinders this growth should be addressed immediately.
Giving A Negative Feeling
Don’t be afraid to get rid of people who always make you or other members of the family feel uncomfortable. If those particular persons regularly make the whole home environment feel heavy and unpleasant, it’s time to let them go. That’s because of the negative impact they might bring. These toxic individuals are capable of affecting and damaging other relationships, so there’s no sense of keeping them near you or your family. Because if you don’t cut them out and you choose to let them stay around, it can eventually make you negative as well. These people can potentially drain all of the positivity you have in your life. So before thinking of keeping all your family members intact, always consider if all the relationships are worth it. If the connection is harmful to the overall growth of your family, don’t be afraid to consider stepping back.
Damaging Your Health
Keeping an ongoing connection with toxic family members is undoubtedly detrimental to your health. That’s due to the stress and pressure they give to you and the other members of the unit. In the worst cases, these people can cause severe mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. Aside from that, their presence will automatically bring emotional instability which will also affect your cognitive and physiological function. Sometimes they bring issues inside the home that you and other members won’t be able to mentally and emotionally handle, which in the end will result to sleep disorders and lower self-esteem.
Getting A One-Sided Relationship
No relationship should stay one-sided, and it should always have to be a give-and-take process. So when it does focus on a particular person, shut them out automatically. It is the kind of relationship that you should pick up on sooner rather than later. If the family connection is always about these toxic persons, it’s time to disregard their presence. You need to consider the red flags especially when it is evident that these individuals only care about their well-being. Heir selfishness can entirely create a negative impact on the way you think about yourself. These family members love taking but find it hard to give something in return.
It’s Becoming Abusive
When a family relationship starts to become abusive, that’s where you need to get these people out for good. Whether the abuse is sexual, physical, mental, or emotional, it’s time to be firm in shutting these people out in your life. Always remember that no healthy relationship ends up with abuse. So before anything gets worst, save yourself and the rest of your family from the harshness of emotional and mental torture.
Yes, the process of cutting off family members is not that easy. But keeping yourself and the rest of your family away from toxicity is a significant move in sustaining better overall health. Remember to establish boundaries at all cost.
We meet and get acquainted with various types of people every day, but connecting with them is not that easy. We just want to be with our family and other loved ones with whom we are already comfortable with. It seems that we don’t have much time to get to know someone well, or some might not want to get close or intimate because they are afraid of being neglected or judged.
There are no better people to teach our children about life but us, and as parents, it is not our job to prepare them for the cruel world ahead. Instead, we must mold them into someone who would make the word less cruel!
Having children tends to envelop your entire being with the need to keep those innocent angels from harm, pain, and sadness at all cost. When they eat, you make sure that their food is easy to digest. If they lose their favorite toy, you want to turn the house inside out to find it or buy a replacement immediately. They are not supposed to go out without you or your spouse either since you don’t want to entrust their safety on anybody else.
Nevertheless, parents cannot shield the children from one of the darkest aspects of life: the death of a loved one, e.g., a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or family pet. It is something you can never hide from a kid, primarily if he or she grew up seeing the deceased relative or animal.
In case you don’t want the kids to harbor grief for too long, there are ways to help them overcome it.
Deliver The News Simply
The first advice is to avoid sugarcoating the news about the family member or pet that passed away. You may be able to do that when having the sex talk with your teenage kids, but it is better to be direct and honest if informing them about something as serious as death.
You cannot foresee how the youngsters will take in the facts. We have seen hardheaded children weep because their loved one died. Other kids who are usually meek can also put on their brave face and choose to believe that the deceased is happy in heaven now, so they don’t have to cry.
Share How You Feel
Some kids who develop erratic behavior after learning about the death of a loved one do not always act like that to get your attention. At times, the change comes from their inability to know how to feel or react to what happened.
That is one reason to speak with your children about your thoughts and emotions related to the situation. Let them know that you are sad, that you will miss the deceased terribly. However, you better emphasize that while you are unhappy right now, you know that you can overcome the gloom if you do it together.
Maintain Stability At Home
Even among adults, the grieving process takes forever to end when your days revolve around remembering what or who you lost. Say, instead of going back to work, you only want to stay close to the dead person or animal’s bed. You stop going to gatherings you used to love because you worry that it might still be too early for you to enjoy your life, although half a year already passed.
If your goal is to keep your children from dealing with grief for too long, you ought to get them back in their daily routine right after the funeral. Don’t let them skip school; bring them to sports practices. This way, they can regain a sense of stability and accept the death faster.
Answer Their Questions
Of course, an unexpected loss of a beloved tends to make a child wonder about a million things. For example, “Where will the deceased go?” “What will happen to the body?” “Will the dead go to heaven?”
You are talking to a kid, so there’s no need to be very graphic with your replies. To reassure him or her that the deceased is now in a better place, though, you should supply honest answers to their queries whenever you can.
Losing someone is challenging to overcome for people of all ages. You will never see the person or pet you loved so dear, regardless if you believe in reincarnation or not. The things you could have done together can no longer happen. Nevertheless, telling a child about the death and waiting for their reaction may give you a new perspective on how to handle grief.
As a mom, there is nothing you want but all the best for your children. As much as possible, you want to provide them with a good life wherein they will continuously feel immense happiness and joy. You do not want them to experience difficulty in the different aspects of their lives. All these are only normal because being a caring and loving mom is innate to every woman.
Regardless of all the efforts exerted to make everything perfect, your teens will still encounter some shortcomings. When this happens, the ideal thing to do is to be supportive. Make them feel that you will always be on their side no matter what happens. Most importantly, find a way immediately on how they could get the help they need.
One of the recent issues that have been talked about by several moms all over the word is whether or not online therapy is suitable for teenagers. There have been several debates over this matter because some people believe that the young adolescents must not be exposed to online counseling. While there are tons of sound arguments against this kind of practice, there is also a high number of teens claiming that they became better because of online therapy.
Below is a list of the top reasons why online therapy is considered as suitable for teenagers:
Open Up Quickly
People who are between the ages of thirteen and twenty are in a stage in their lives where they want to explore the endless possibilities available to them. The problem now is that some of them are hesitant to open up or talk about their issues. In fact, many teenagers prefer to confide to their peers than to parents. This dilemma is well addressed with the availability of online therapy. With the presence of an online counselor, your teens will become more motivated to talk about what is bothering them.
Comfort In The Internet
In this age in technology, the Internet is considered as the comfort for most teens. Many depressed adolescents prefer to go online to entertain themselves or to divert their attention to something better. Now is the right time to make good use of the Internet connection at home. Let your child see an online counselor so that he could get the support and assistance of a therapist through the virtual environment.
Affordability For The Family
A significant factor to take into consideration here is the budget of the household. There are many items that your family needs to pay on a monthly basis. This is the reason why it is significant to always cut down on your expenses. Luckily, online therapy will not be a problem. This is because the fees collected from clients are highly affordable. Since there are lesser administrative costs on the part of the online therapist, they already can charge less for the services or other professional engagements.
Once you find out that your teenagers are in a bad place right now, be sure to remain calm. Never give up in showing them the light to the right path.