Have you ever felt like you have been surrounded by toxic people that only take so much of your time and energy? Have you ever felt like these individuals are causing you to mentally and emotionally self-destruct? And have you ever experienced being surrounded by people who only care about themselves and do not give a damn about your overall well-being? Sadly, I have, and these are no ordinary people. These toxic individuals are my family.
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Frustration, Anger, And Hate
The one thing I would never recommend to anyone is to hate their family. However, I know it is out of my control when people are forced to do that. In my case, I am extremely frustrated with my family members because they are causing me so much mental and emotional stress.
To emphasize the case, let’s start with my parents.
They often see me as an ATM. They would force me to provide for them whenever they needed financial support. And when in times that I tried to refuse, they would throw “We raised you” cards at me, making me feel guilty and vulnerable. Ultimately, I would give way to their needs and leave myself without anything.
Even when I was a kid, the situation was always like that. I thought it was normal that my parents would only appreciate me when I brought something beneficial to them. Like I remember winning a singing competition. I gave my parents all the prized money; they hugged and congratulated me. But they spend the cash on themselves. My mom went shopping for clothes, and my dad went gambling.
At that time, it was okay. I never sweat on winning it anyway. But as the years passed, incidents like that always happened, especially now that I am working. All my money goes to my family’s everyday needs. And their money only serves their wants and cravings.
Why did I not complain about it? Well, why should I? I was raised to believe that parents own their children and that their decisions are merely based on the parents’ approval.
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Things are different with my siblings, on the other hand.
They do not ask me for anything and don’t offer help either. It means we live in the house but with separate lives. We do not often talk. When we have a little discussion, it is merely about asking where our parents are. They never really intend to connect and communicate with me.
I see no problem with that. Besides, I am always busy at work and immediately go straight to bed when I get home. I do not have time to spare for a little chitchat because when I am at home, all I can think of is rest and sleep.
But what’s toxic about his sibling relationship is that it is as if we do not know each other. One time I tried to approach them, they shut me down. They clarified that they did not want anything to do with me. They do not want me to comment about their lives because they are not commenting on mine. I do feel a little frustrated. But since I’m the youngest, I must abide by their rules.
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Now let’s proceed to the undying connection with my relatives.
I am not fond of talking about my life, but when I do, I make sure that other people won’t have reasons to judge me. That is why I always aim for the best. However, with toxic relatives, nothing is enough. They always have something to say despite all your achievements, efforts, and hard work. It’s as if they know how to constantly tear your confidence apart. Both my parents’ sides are unbelievably inconsiderate.
The funny thing is they never treat my siblings like they treat me. They often make me feel like I don’t belong in the family and that my presence is nothing but a nuisance. The fact that I bring food to the table is not something they appreciate but rather question a lot.
My choices in life are always against their approval. They consider these bad choices because of my educational attainment, the school I graduated from, the course I took, the job I have, the relationship I make, and the friends I hang out with.
Why did I not explain my side? Would they listen? Honestly, I tried that already, and they seemed firm about what they thought about me, so it’s pointless to explain. They wouldn’t listen anyway.
Final Thoughts
I know I am not the only one struggling with these types of people. But I am sure disheartened due to the world’s unfairness for giving me these individuals as my family. I can guarantee that my life has been devoted and dedicated to them. But I never felt an inch of support, care, understanding, and love from them which makes it so depressing.