I used to be a self-proclaimed selfish woman. I did not want to have pets because I don’t want to be burdened by taking care of them. I left my parents’ home at 18 years old because they kept making me help out with the household chores. I figured that being alone would be much better than having to deal with all those things.
The thing was, destiny decided to teach me a lesson by introducing me to Jason when I was deeply invested in my career. He was a remarkable and funny guy who loved hanging out with me, even if I was a little mean to him initially. But I started feeling different towards Jason when I told him that I wanted to be alone forever.
Whenever I talked to someone about it in the past, they would often cringe and assume the worst of me. I even came across some people who distanced themselves from me after learning about my goal. However, Jason did not do any of that. Instead, he only said, “Cool, I respect your decision. But I also hope you won’t push me away because I hate being alone.”
Little by little, Jason broke down my loner wall. His thoughtfulness, wit, and charm made me fall in love with him. Then, I realized my views had changed entirely when I saw Jason grinning from ear to ear while waiting at me from his car. It made me imagine us building a life together.
Marriage, Pregnancy, And Doubts
I did not hesitate to say yes when Jason popped the big question at me a year later. Everyone I knew was pleasantly surprised when I dropped by their houses to give their wedding invitations. My mom even cried out of joy, saying that she had been praying for years for me to change my mind about my lonesome.
Being married to Jason allowed me to see how foolish I was back then. Marriage with the right person was so blissful. We were in sync all the time; there was never a dull moment with my man.
In our happiness, I agreed when Jason suggested that we should flush my birth control pills in the toilet during our honeymoon. He said that it was legal for us to be reckless at that point, and I thought, “Why the heck not?”
Two months later, we found out I was pregnant. Jason could not contain his excitement. He was jumping up and down and humming, “I’m going to be a papa. I’m going to be a papa.”
Of course, I was happy, too. Ever since I got together with Jason, I secretly imagined what our baby would look like. However, I could not help but doubt my ability to become a good mother and stay in demand in my career. I talked to Jason about it, and my thoughtful husband said he would help me find a counselor ASAP.
My husband kept his promise and soon introduced me to a counselor in the district. As soon as I saw Helga (the counselor), I felt at ease at once – like she could help me resolve all my issues. She was warm, soft-spoken, and super understanding as I shared my thoughts with her.
Then, I glanced at the shelf behind Helga’s desk and saw that most of the framed pictures there showcased three teenage girls smiling widely at the camera.
“Are those your daughters?” I could not help but ask, pointing at the pictures.
“Oh, yes, they are fraternal triplets,” Helga replied.
I was mind-blown in an instant. “How much did you spend on nannies?” I blurted out. I had to assume that she hired a few, considering she told me that she only took a few months off after childbirth before going back to work.
Helga laughed slightly. “Oh, with all the diapers and milk that my husband and I had to buy, we did not have extra cash at the time to pay for nannies. Instead, I brought my babies to work every day until they were old enough to go to daycare.”
“How did you not lose your mind?” I asked.
“Well, I love my career and my family. I refused to give up either, so I was willing to do everything to make sure all parts of my life worked. It was not a cakewalk – there were a lot of sleepless nights – but the kids are all worth the effort.”
That was all I needed to hear about erasing my self-doubt. Helga instantly became the role model that I never knew I needed. Looking at how successful she was and how happy her kids were made me feel that I could follow in my counselor’s footsteps and be able to juggle my career and motherhood, too.
My due date was still a few months now, but I could not wait to meet my firstborn – a baby girl – and shower her with love and affection.