What is bad parenting? Is there such a thing? How does it affect children and family dynamics? Is there something to it that you need to understand thoroughly? What are the disadvantages of this bad parenthood? To answer all the questions, let’s dive into this topic and discuss more of it here in this article.
Bad parenting is something that can significantly affect a child’s growth. Bad parenthood can even affect a person’s characteristics that can manifest even in adulthood. Bad parenthood is never easy. However, it can be avoidable. Parents are human beings and thus can also make mistakes.
I had been friends with Mary since our grade school days. We were technically sisters from different parents, and there was no secret between us. We knew all the good and bad points of each other, and we did not care about that.
You see, I decided to stay closer to my parents and study psychology at a local university. Meanwhile, Mary went to the East Coast to become a surgeon. There were no cell phones back then, but we were always on the telephone on weekends or sending emails to each other, so it was like we were not apart at all.
A Friend Who Have Had Poor Parenthood
Then, when I got married, Mary was my maid of honor. It was the only time in seven years that she went home to her parent. We would see each other between those years, but that’s only because I would go to her place, not her bad parents.
It must seem bad that my best friend had not paraded to our hometown nor seen her parent for many years until my wedding day. The reason was that she had a lot of awful memories there, no thanks to her bad parenthood experiences.
As far as I recall with regards to my friend’s bad parenthood experience, her mother, Mrs. Jones was an alcoholic and bad drug addict. She could only get menial jobs because of her criminal records, and her money would go straight to bad addictions. It was lucky that Mary was brilliant; she always had scholarships even when we were in grade school. Still, there were many times when Mary would go to school without breakfast or at least lunch money and would have to wait until dinner for her bad parent to bring home leftovers from the diner where she used to work.
I honestly did not know about my friend’s bad parenthood sufferings initially because Mary was so good at hiding her bad parent maltreatments. She would make different excuses as to why she would not eat with everyone else. I only found out when I went looking for her after finishing my meal quickly and finding her at the swings in the playground without any food in sight.
My parents asked around about Mary and her bad parent, and that’s how we learned about her situation at home with her bad parenthood incidents. Mary already said that she did not want the social services to know about it because they would then bring her to the foster care system. To help my best friend, my parents told me to invite Mary to stay with us whenever she wanted to.
At first, Mary was extremely shy about it. She said that she was fine and that she did not need to eat three times a day. But my parents knew better than that. Eventually, Mary opened up to my family about her bad parenthood experience, and we became inseparable.
Her Perspective About Motherhood
Three years after getting married, I got pregnant with my first child. During that time, Mary also tied the knot with her long-time boyfriend. Because of that, I told her half-jokingly to start the babymaking process at once so that our babies would be close in age and go to school together.
To my surprise, Mary said that she did not want to have a child when I asked why she looked down and revealed that she was afraid of bad parenting like her mother. She was also afraid she might inflict bad parenthood on her children. “I know I can be a good wife, but bad parenting might be genetic, and I might have gotten that from mom.”
Counseling Bad Parenting
I wanted to give Mary a big hug and tell her that everything would be okay. However, I tried to let my counselor’s side take over because it was evident that my best friend’s fear stemmed from childhood issues and ineffective treatments from her bad parenthood experience that she hid from me. I had always assumed that she was all right because she technically grew up in our home. But that’s not the case.
Supporting My Friend Through Her Tough Times
I told Mary, “Please don’t think like that. Your bad parenthood experience might not have been that way before she developed substance addiction. The alcohol and the drugs altered her brain function, and that’s probably why she was awful to you. I believe that you can be the best parent that any kid can ask for if you choose to become one.”
Of course, Mary had to get a few more sessions with me before she finally accepted that she has experienced ineffective ways. We worked together to unravel all her childhood issues about her parent, and her bad parenting experiences, and ensure that they were all out in the open. Bad parenthood can be a hindrance to success as an adult.
I was the happiest best friend in the world when Mary told me the exciting news that she was also pregnant and could not wait to meet her baby. She was finally going to become a parent without the worries of bad parenthood. It’s a clear indication that our counseling sessions worked.