Being married to the love of your life is one of the best experiences that you could have in this lifetime. It feels good to settle down with someone who sweeps you off your feet. Consider yourself lucky if you can find that one person who makes you feel happy and contented with everything in your life. Indeed, falling in love with the right man is a rare opportunity that you must grab immediately. However, just because you have found your soul mate does not mean that you will not go through the pain and emotional suffering.
Unfortunately, there is no perfect marriage. No matter how much you love each other, there will come a time when staying in love becomes a complete struggle. Sometimes divorce comes to mind, especially if the differences between the couple are already irreconcilable.
“Couples who rush to leave their marriages have not had enough time to evaluate their feelings, thoughts, or options,” says Bruce Derman, PhD. In this article, we are going to present the top questions to ask yourself before deciding to get a divorce:
“What Causes Marital Conflict?”
Having disagreements or arguments is only typical in any marriage. Spouses will always encounter misunderstandings because there are times when they have different views about a certain topic.
“It took two of you to get to this place and it’s extremely important for you to dig deep and own your role in it,” wrote Lisa Kaplin, PsyD. If you notice that regularly fight with your husband, be sure to trace the root cause of the problem. Try to study the reason why you always get into conflict with each other. In so doing, you would be able to analyze whether the marriage is still worth fighting or not.
“How Will The Kids Feel?”
When it comes to separating from your spouse, do not forget to bring your children into the picture. Before you make any choice or decision, be sure to think about how your kids would feel about the divorce. According to experts, children who come from a broken family or those who grew up with divorced parents are more likely to become rebellious as they develop. As such, remember to consider their possible reactions once they find out about the separation. It is highly recommended to talk to them first before making any move.
“Have Your Tried Marriage Counseling?”
At this point, it is vital to emphasize that divorce is not always the answer to problems in a marriage. Take all the time you need to think about your relationship with the other person. Do not immediately choose to part ways, as it will only make you suffer more.
“A couples therapist, someone who has a view from outside the relationship, can help couples see their relationship from a different perspective and interact in a new way,” says Holly Parker, PhD. Make an effort to talk to a professional so that both of you could address the issues properly. However, keep in mind that active participation for both parties is required to make counseling work. Complete all the sessions to ensure that you can come up with an informed decision.
As already mentioned above, choosing to stay in a marriage is never easy. It involves a lot of sacrifices on your part. Whenever you stumble on a bump in the relationship, do not immediately think of divorce. Give yourself a chance to make the marriage work. The only time that divorce becomes an option is when the other person becomes emotionally unavailable, and he is not willing to change at all.