There are three things I realized years after I had my first-born. First, every kid is so different even if they came from the same set of parents. Second, it’s hard to discipline them all the same way. Third, dealing with a tantrum doesn’t get easier despite having more children.
But speaking with other mamas in and out of our community gave me an idea that you can calm your kid without having a tantrum yourself. Find out how that can happen below. The crying part is still OK because you can then carry the baby and sway him or her in your arms. But once the child drops on the floor of a public place, e.g., mall or sidewalk, and just lies down there while shedding tears, sometimes you just want to weep beside them too. I know that feeling since I was tempted to do that many times.
- Prevent A Meltdown As Much As Possible
Assuming your baby is more than six months old, you surely have a clue already about their likes and dislikes. If you can ensure that the latter things don’t ever come near them, you may rarely witness a frenzy at home.
- Know What Caused The Tantrum
“If you have a child, you are going to have tantrums,” Andy C. Belden, Ph.D., relates. “They happen, and one of the more important things for parents is to keep eye on them and think about what the child is actually doing.”
Kids don’t always throw a feat because they want you to buy them a toy or let them play with sharp objects. There are times when they have a valid reason to break down, such as when they’re hungry, or their diaper needs changing. Understand this behavior’s cause to fix the issue immediately.
- Avoid Going On A Yelling Match With The Child
It is pointless to force a toddler to see how unreasonable they are by shouting louder than them. As the parent, you should try to soothe the baby initially so that their mood will normalize.
“Kids are actually going to listen less when you yell at them,” explains Joseph Shrand, Ph.D. He is an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of Outsmarting Anger: & Strategies for Defusing Our Most Dangerous Emotion. “As soon as you begin to raise your voice, you activate their limbic system, which is an ancient part of the brain that’s responsible for, among other things, the fight-or-flight response.”
- Do Image Training
Before your day starts, imagine your child exhibiting a fit of rage. Then, think about how you want to handle the situation. With grace, I presume? Remember that scenario to prevent losing your temper too once they have a tantrum.
- Have Distractions Ready
On almost every part of the house when my two-year-old can go, I place little treats or toys I can easily give them if ever they throw a feat. It may lessen the amount of time they cry and make them forget what they were angry about in the first place.
- Look At The Bright Side Of It
Health professionals will tell you to don’t try to calm down the kid right away. That’s because tantrums allow the child to learn how to self-soothe, which is a skill they can use forever.
- Don’t Allow Yourself To Break Down
Getting angry or crying in front of your baby won’t push him or her to stop being moody. You need to get a stable grip on your senses and possibly quiet your mind before facing your temperamental child. This way, your kid may pick up your calmness and relax on their own.
- Serve Punishments Later
“Many parents think of discipline as a way to correct their child’s bad behavior, often by using punishment,” psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, MD, says. “The debate becomes ‘What sort of punishment works best?’ Instead, parents should ask themselves, ‘How do I raise a child who’ll become an adult I’ll admire and respect?’ That’s the goal of discipline.”
Of course, children can’t meltdown and get away with it without being punished. They need to understand that it isn’t acceptable to act like that, especially if they can already speak. Despite that, penalize them only after their emotions settled down to avoid prolonging the tantrums. If you are still not sure what to do, seek professional advice from an expert at BetterHelp. You can directly send a message on their Facebook and LinkedIn pages.