Save Your Health And Cut Toxic Family Members From Your Life

The family is an essential thing in the world. They are the ones who teach you a lot of stuff particularly on early development. Each one of them contributes to the growth of your emotional, spiritual, and mental health. However, not all family members are capable of providing you a good source of improvement. You need to understand that some of them can become the cause of your emotional and mental dilemma. In that sense, you need to find the courage to push them away from you. Here are the reasons why it is entirely okay to cut family members out of your life.

Affecting Other Areas Of Your Life

When a toxic family connection affects other essential areas of your life such as work and home, it is the time to cut them off. The stress these people bring will not stop but rather grow to a more undesirable discussion and confrontation. It is important to recognize that to be able to protect the majority of your family, you have to allow each member to grow. With that, you need to separate those functioning ones to those who contribute negatively. Always take in mind that a family member should give each other motivation and help everyone in their circle to strive in their overall development. Therefore, a relationship that hinders this growth should be addressed immediately.

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Giving A Negative Feeling

Don’t be afraid to get rid of people who always make you or other members of the family feel uncomfortable. If those particular persons regularly make the whole home environment feel heavy and unpleasant, it’s time to let them go. That’s because of the negative impact they might bring. These toxic individuals are capable of affecting and damaging other relationships, so there’s no sense of keeping them near you or your family. Because if you don’t cut them out and you choose to let them stay around, it can eventually make you negative as well. These people can potentially drain all of the positivity you have in your life. So before thinking of keeping all your family members intact, always consider if all the relationships are worth it. If the connection is harmful to the overall growth of your family, don’t be afraid to consider stepping back. Dr. Patricia Turner, M.D., says that “attempting to maintain every relationship is not desirable or healthy and it is important to know when it is time to quit.”

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Damaging Your Health

Keeping an ongoing connection with toxic family members is undoubtedly detrimental to your health. That’s due to the stress and pressure they give to you and the other members of the unit. In the worst cases, these people can cause severe mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. Aside from that, their presence will automatically bring emotional instability which will also affect your cognitive and physiological function. Sometimes they bring issues inside the home that you and other members won’t be able to mentally and emotionally handle, which in the end will result to sleep disorders and lower self-esteem.

Getting A One-Sided Relationship

No relationship should stay one-sided, and it should always have to be a give-and-take process. So when it does focus on a particular person, shut them out automatically. It is the kind of relationship that you should pick up on sooner rather than later. If the family connection is always about these toxic persons, it’s time to disregard their presence. You need to consider the red flags especially when it is evident that these individuals only care about their well-being. Heir selfishness can entirely create a negative impact on the way you think about yourself. These family members love taking but find it hard to give something in return.

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It’s Becoming Abusive

When a family relationship starts to become abusive, that’s where you need to get these people out for good. Whether the abuse is sexual, physical, mental, or emotional, it’s time to be firm in shutting these people out in your life. “We have every right to protect ourselves from those who manipulate and emotionally abuse us.” reminds Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D. “We must understand that our toxic family members have simply walked us to the door we’re now choosing to shut.” Always remember that no healthy relationship ends up with abuse. So before anything gets worst, save yourself and the rest of your family from the harshness of emotional and mental torture.

Yes, the process of cutting off family members is not that easy. But keeping yourself and the rest of your family away from toxicity is a significant move in sustaining better overall health. Sharon Martin, LCSW agrees, “Remaining in a relationship with a toxic person is potentially harmful to your emotional and physical health and relationships.” Remember to establish boundaries at all cost.

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We meet and get acquainted with various types of people every day, but connecting with them is not that easy. We just want to be with our family and other loved ones with whom we are already comfortable with. It seems that we don’t have much time to get to know someone well, or some might not want to get close or intimate because they are afraid of being neglected or judged.

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How To Teach The Value Of Responsibility To A Kid

 

 

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Meeting people from all walks of life allowed me to see that the principles a person learns from childhood have a huge influence on their behavior as an adult.

For instance, if the kid grew up hearing from the people around them that it’s easy to make money by deceiving others, they may take that to heart and end up with a criminal record. In case he or she only learned to procrastinate, that child would most likely turn into a lazy, unproductive individual.

It’s an exaggeration to link it to the proverbial apple that never falls too far from the tree. The problem is that the kids in the above examples didn’t know the value of responsibility; that’s why it’s hard for them to stay accountable for something significant like their job or life. “The best type of parenting is fair, flexible, respectful, and has learning—rather than submission—as its goal.” says Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.

To keep your offspring from having the same fate, find out how a child can get the hang of being responsible.

 

Help Them Realize There’s No Other Way Around It

The first thing that kids should grasp is that they will have a lot of obligations in this lifetime. Whether the duty is for their family, business, or country, they need to prepare for it sooner than later. Hence, it’s pointless to whine whenever you ask them to fix their bed or clean after themselves. Jim Taylor Ph.D. notes that, “There should also be consequences for not fulfilling responsibilities. The best consequences are those that remove something of importance to your children and give them the control to get it back by acting appropriately.”

 

Increase Responsibilities Little By Little

Though the goal is to teach accountability to your child, you have to delegate a task to him or her that’s age-appropriate. Say, you got a toddler. At this point, he or she can merely put the toys back on the shelves or throw their used nappy in the trash. You may give the kid bigger chores as they mature.

 

Avoid Losing Your Cool

It seems to be in children’s nature to either follow your orders sloppily or not take your words seriously. Despite that, you should try your best not to cry out in frustration. Practice can make their actions more fluid, after all, so let them continue with the task until they feel accustomed to it.

 

Allow The Child To Fulfill Tasks On Their Own

Kids, of course, have no idea of how to accomplish chores at the beginning. Thus, you may show them the proper way of doing it a couple of times. But what you shouldn’t ever do is breathing down their necks each time they’re on to something. According to Perri Klass, M.D. and co-author, “Calibrate your expectations about what your child is capable of doing independently. If you trusted your babies enough to distribute an errand to them, trust them more to complete their tasks without your help. ”

 

Throw In Compliments Here And There

Everyone performs better when a mentor praises them. You are your child’s guide on his or her journey to learning the value of responsibility; that’s why you can’t forget to offer some encouragement, especially once they earn it. Simple statements such as “You’re doing great!” or “Thank you!” can boost their energy.

 

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Do What You Teach

In the end, the children need to see that you’re not just making them clean their room or wash the plates because you primarily wish to lessen your work. The thought isn’t bad, for sure, yet your objective is to become the role model of being responsible in their eyes. So, ascertain that you’re finishing all your duties at home like them.

The Psychology Behind The Song 7 Years By Lukas Graham

 

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There are no better people to teach our children about life but us, and as parents, it is not our job to prepare them for the cruel world ahead. Instead, we must mold them into someone who would make the word less cruel!

“Children observe their parents more closely, appraise their parents more carefully, and know their parents better than parents do the child,” wrote Carl E Pickhardt, PhD. “Parents vastly underestimate how closely they are observed and how constantly they are evaluated by their child.”

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How To Help Your Kids Overcome Grief

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Having children tends to envelop your entire being with the need to keep those innocent angels from harm, pain, and sadness at all cost. When they eat, you make sure that their food is easy to digest. If they lose their favorite toy, you want to turn the house inside out to find it or buy a replacement immediately. They are not supposed to go out without you or your spouse either since you don’t want to entrust their safety on anybody else.

Nevertheless, parents cannot shield the children from one of the darkest aspects of life: the death of a loved one, e.g., a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or family pet. It is something you can never hide from a kid, primarily if he or she grew up seeing the deceased relative or animal.

In case you don’t want the kids to harbor grief for too long, there are ways to help them overcome it.

 

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Deliver The News Simply

The first advice is to avoid sugarcoating the news about the family member or pet that passed away. You may be able to do that when having the sex talk with your teenage kids, but it is better to be direct and honest if informing them about something as serious as death.

You cannot foresee how the youngsters will take in the facts. We have seen hardheaded children weep because their loved one died. Other kids who are usually meek can also put on their brave face and choose to believe that the deceased is happy in heaven now, so they don’t have to cry.

Erin Walsh, MA, and David Walsh, PhD, wrote, “[L]earning how to experience, name, and manage emotions is one of the central tasks of childhood and leads to all kinds of good outcomes later in life.” They further said that it is important to normalize multiple feelings in your child. “Remind your child that it is okay to be sad about loss and excited or joyful about something else.”

Share How You Feel

Some kids who develop erratic behavior after learning about the death of a loved one do not always act like that to get your attention. At times, the change comes from their inability to know how to feel or react to what happened.

“Buried grief can bubble to the surface in troublesome ways later on in a person’s life,” says Lara Krawchuk, MSW, LCSW, MPH. That is one reason to speak with your children about your thoughts and emotions related to the situation. She notes, “Showing, by example, can be very powerful because kids will not feel as much pressure to protect other grieving loved ones or hide or bury their true emotions.”

Let them know that you are sad, that you will miss the deceased terribly. However, you better emphasize that while you are unhappy right now, you know that you can overcome the gloom if you do it together.

Maintain Stability At Home

Even among adults, the grieving process takes forever to end when your days revolve around remembering what or who you lost. Say, instead of going back to work, you only want to stay close to the dead person or animal’s bed. You stop going to gatherings you used to love because you worry that it might still be too early for you to enjoy your life, although half a year already passed.

If your goal is to keep your children from dealing with grief for too long, you ought to get them back in their daily routine right after the funeral. Don’t let them skip school; bring them to sports practices. This way, they can regain a sense of stability and accept the death faster.

Answer Their Questions

Of course, an unexpected loss of a beloved tends to make a child wonder about a million things. For example, “Where will the deceased go?” “What will happen to the body?” “Will the dead go to heaven?”

You are talking to a kid, so there’s no need to be very graphic with your replies. To reassure him or her that the deceased is now in a better place, though, you should supply honest answers to their queries whenever you can. “One of the difficulties for a parent is that they are learning as well,” wrote Phyllis R. Silverman, PhD. “They need to translate the experience of mourning into age appropriate language their children can understand in order to become the teachers their children need.”

 

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Losing someone is challenging to overcome for people of all ages. You will never see the person or pet you loved so dear, regardless if you believe in reincarnation or not. The things you could have done together can no longer happen. Nevertheless, telling a child about the death and waiting for their reaction may give you a new perspective on how to handle grief.

Is Online Therapy Suitable For Teenagers?

 

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As a mom, there is nothing you want but all the best for your children. As much as possible, you want to provide them with a good life wherein they will continuously feel immense happiness and joy. You do not want them to experience difficulty in the different aspects of their lives. All these are only normal because being a caring and loving mom is innate to every woman.

 

Regardless of all the efforts exerted to make everything perfect, your teens will still encounter some shortcomings. When this happens, the ideal thing to do is to be supportive. Make them feel that you will always be on their side no matter what happens. Most importantly, find a way immediately on how they could get the help they need.

 

One of the recent issues that have been talked about by several moms all over the word is whether or not online therapy is suitable for teenagers. There have been several debates over this matter because some people believe that the young adolescents must not be exposed to online counseling. While there are tons of sound arguments against this kind of practice, there is also a high number of teens claiming that they became better because of online therapy.

 

Below is a list of the top reasons why online therapy is considered as suitable for teenagers:

 

Open Up Quickly

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People who are between the ages of thirteen and twenty are in a stage in their lives where they want to explore the endless possibilities available to them. The problem now is that some of them are hesitant to open up or talk about their issues. In fact, many teenagers prefer to confide to their peers than to parents. This dilemma is well addressed with the availability of online therapy. With the presence of an online counselor, your teens will become more motivated to talk about what is bothering them. “Face-to-face interactions through a video screen make empathy possible even though we may be thousands of miles apart,” says Joseph Burgo, Ph.D.

 

Comfort In The Internet

 

In this age in technology, the Internet is considered as the comfort for most teens. Many depressed adolescents prefer to go online to entertain themselves or to divert their attention to something better. Now is the right time to make good use of the Internet connection at home. “When you’re having struggles with your mental health, it can feel very isolating and personal to you, and you want to figure that stuff out on your own first before the interventions of the people that care about you…,” says Haesue Jo, LMFT. “The discrete nature and private venue that we are able to provide is something that’s appealing for a lot of people.” Let your child see an online counselor so that he could get the support and assistance of a therapist through the virtual environment.

 

Affordability For The Family

 

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A significant factor to take into consideration here is the budget of the household. There are many items that your family needs to pay on a monthly basis. This is the reason why it is significant to always cut down on your expenses. “A yellow pages listing is expensive so a lot of good people aren’t there,” says Elvira G. Aletta, Ph.D., “Plus there is no oversight or regulation of who can list.” Luckily, online therapy will not be a problem. This is because the fees collected from clients are highly affordable. Since there are lesser administrative costs on the part of the online therapist, they already can charge less for the services or other professional engagements.

 

Once you find out that your teenagers are in a bad place right now, be sure to remain calm. Never give up in showing them the light to the right path.

 

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A lot of children go through a stage in which they only eat what they want, not what’s right for their health. My brood experienced that too; in fact, my eldest had a habit of dissecting every ingredient in his food during his toddler years. Sometimes I’d be able to coax the little boy to eat whatever’s on the table, but there are days as well when he’d sweet-talked me into giving him fries or pizza. (Oops!)

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